Lesbian Resource Center

Often, doctors mistakenly assume that lesbians and bisexual women in relationships with women aren’t at risk for most sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). The fact is that many STDs are just as common among women who have sex with women as compared to women who have sex with men. And although the risk for transmitting HIV--the virus that causes AIDS, between women is not high-- there are documented cases of woman-to-woman transmission.

Sexual health begins with good communication. You must be willing to talk about sex, your feelings and personal needs, and your past or present sexual activity that puts you (and your sexual partner) at risk for STDs and HIV. Being honest shows concern and respect for yourself and your partner.

Protecting Yourself

The truth is that it is what you do, not who you are, that puts you at risk. Safer sex means finding ways to prevent contact with body fluids or infected skin.

Following are things you should know in order to protect yourself:

Kissing
Avoid wet kissing if you or your partner have a sore or cut in your mouth.

Grinding
Touching or rubbing against your partner’s breast, thigh, or other body part is safe unless there is contact with body fluids or open cuts.

Fingering
Watch out for sores or cuts on fingers or the vagina. Wearing a latex glove is the safest way to prevent contact with body fluids.

Oral Sex
Oral sex includes both oral/vaginal ("going down) and oral/anal contact ("rimming"). Using a barrier, such as a dental dam, is the best way to protect yourself against contact with vaginal fluids, ejaculate, menstrual blood, or fecal matter. Lubricant on the "inside" of the barrier will increase sensation. Always use a water-based lube. Never re-use a barrier or share the same barrier.

Sex Toys
Sharing sex toys is risky and has been linked to transmission of HIV between women. If you share a sex toy, such as a dildo, cover it with a fresh condom each time you or your sexual partner use it. Some sex toys can be placed in the dishwasher (heat dry) for cleaning between use.

S&M
S&M is safest when no blood is involved. If you are piercing each other, don’t use the same needle.

Getting the Care You Need

Although you might feel embarrassed, it’s a good thing to talk to your doctor about your sexual health. Be honest about your sexual past and present. Find out what screenings you should have. If you don’t have a regular doctor, your local health department clinic and Planned Parenthood usually provide low-cost screening and counseling.

If you think you might have an STD or HIV, you should make an appointment with your doctor. Watch out for these signs:

• Change in vaginal discharge (color, odor, or consistency)
• Itching or burning
• Sores or blisters
• Pain during sex or other physical contact

Resources

Order a Safer Sex Kit

Download a safer sex brochure (.pdf): English || Spanish

Explore other health resources on the web.

Author: Kate Shirah, MPH
Revised September 2005